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Instead, she met my great grandfather

 Instead, she met my great grandfather. A poor, dark-skinned man jumping from job to job working for farmers and trying to make a living. The two of them fell in love. They were just teenagers. Her parents threatened to disown her if she continued seeing him, and like a rebellious teenager, she refused. They wanted her to do better. She wanted to be in love. They might have broken up eventually, if she didn't get pregnant. But she did, and that was the end of it. Her parents basically said "you've ruined your life" and disowned her right there. The whole family disowned her. No one would speak to her- aunts, uncles, cousins, not a single person stood up for her. So she had no choice. The two of them moved to California, so he could get a job picking oranges. He built a house. They had their first daughter. She was 16. She never saw her family again.Until the day she died. But I think she was always a little bitter about being disowned by her family, and ended up bein...

My siblings and I have stopped interacting with my oldest brother

 My siblings and I have stopped interacting with my oldest brother. We found out that years earlier he had molested at least two boys. He was an adult at the time. He showed no remorse, and turned the story around to say that those boys were at fault. It was so disgusting to watch someone you grew up with treat people so poorly and show such a blatant disregard for others. The good news is that the remaining four siblings have become closer and we now are able to appreciate the good we see in each other. It’s true when they say that if you could pick your family it would look much different than it is! She was a young creole teenager- french creole was her first language, and she was a quarter-to-half black like me, with tan skin and loose brown curls. She was born in Florida, but when things started getting worse for black people in Florida, her family relocated to Texas. For those who don't know, creole people tend to play heavily into colorism. Although they are definitely mix...

In the majority of churches, ordained ministers are styled "The Reverend"

 In the majority of churches, ordained ministers are styled "The Reverend". However, as stated above, some are styled "Pastor" and others do not use any religious style or form of address, and are addressed as any other person, e.g. as Mr, Ms, Miss, Mrs or by name.Or call you by your first name. It’s always the old guys who wanna call me by my first name (either look it up online or read it off my badge). “It’s Dr Thicket, sir.” And I never assume I can call patients by their first names. Respect: give it, demand it. I started, years ago, addressing all women I deal with professionally (trial lawyer) as "Ms." regardless of status. It's the best analog to "mr." That is, unless the person I'm addressing has a doctorate then it's "dr." unless they tell me different. we have and all who present male get that. Why is your marital status relevant to whatever interaction we are having? It's not and neither is mine.

In my public elementary school in the 70's, there was ONE

 In my public elementary school in the 70's, there was ONE teacher who went by Ms. All the other women teachers were Miss or Mrs. Even when my kid went to school the 2000's, teachers were Miss or Mrs. I've been using Ms since I was 16. Fortunately, in the business world, I have found people are more likely to default to Ms because you really don't know what a person's status is unless they tell you. One of my favorite teachers in high school (who was married, in her 50s, and had her husband’s last name) absolutely insisted that people refer to her using Ms. instead of Mrs. She would even politely correct students when they said Mrs., saying that she worked hard for her professional career, and that her identity is completely based on her being her own woman, not “her husband’s wife”

Here I always thought that Mrs. was never used unless the person told you

Here I always thought that Mrs. was never used unless the person told you to use that or one is 110% sure they are married, though the latter situation is less commonly used as it often leads people to believe that a married couple shares the same last name. Teaching kids that married women go by Mrs. without mentioning that it is that person's choice is problematic. Do the people at your office generally address you by your last name? I get that the West Coast is more casual, but standard practice here seems to be to address everyone by their preferred first name unless it's a legal document. There have been times when I haven't learned a person's surname until much later. Even the CEO is referred to by their first name. This also helps when one doesn't know a person's pronouns. 

Papa DO preach! I vividly remember being on my own for the first time

 Papa DO preach! I vividly remember being on my own for the first time and super disgruntled about the price of garbage bags. Could not believe you have to pay money for something thats only purpose is getting thrown out. To this day one of my biggest beefs with the cost of living in my city is that garbage men don’t get paid a living wage. Who the f wants to live in a city without garbage men?! Our trash and recycle both come on the same day but at different times. Last week I thought the recycle had been picked up, so I went out to roll the empty barrel back into my garage, and ended up chatting with a neighbor and getting the mail while I was out there. I brought my barrel back in, and 5 minutes later the recycle truck came and picked up the barrels. I was distracted by conversation and mail, so I didn't recognize that my barrel hadn't been emptied yet. This week my barrel was filled to the top, and I had anxiety about it all week.

It is a silly joke about life for middle-class people leading a comfortable suburban life

 It is a silly joke about life for middle-class people leading a comfortable suburban life. Trash is picked up once a week, and most of us are limited to a single bin. If you forget to put the bin out on trash collection day (once a week) you now have too much trash accumulating until the next week. Especially funny to men who take pride in a clean garage/clean yard & cannot stand the extra garbage. My wife doesnt understand it. But I refuse... REFUSE to run outside like some kind of goddamn animal and race to put out the trash can. Running out there with my dick poking out of the front of my PJs like it always does when you try to run, my extra small tshirt (shrunken from repeated washing, not my increasing girth) riding up my belly, looking like some 3rd world peasant chasing after some feces wagon. If we hear the truck coming and the can's not out, sorry, it's too fucking late.